Sometimes relationships are more complicated than they need to be. Here are some basic facts that will keep you headed in the right direction.
1. Communication is key: Communication is vital for a healthy relationship. Share with your partner what is going on in your heart and head. There may be issues upon which your may not agree. Rather than expending wasted energy, agree to disagree, and attempt to compromise or to work around the issue. Two people cannot spend years together without having times of disagreements.
Listen to what your partner has to say without interrupting him or her. When he or she is finished, summarize what you heard him or her say. Try to empathize with your significant other even though you may not agree. This will take your partner off of the defensive, and make it easier for them to hear your thoughts and feelings. It’s hard to argue when you use this format, and best of all, you may come up with an understanding or a solution. The test of a happy relationship is how they choose to work through their issues — compromise, change, or finding it’s just not that important to stew over.
2. Be Honest: It is never good to mislead your partner and the truth always have a way of coming to light. You may share with your partner the things he or she doesn’t want to hear. Better this than to have him or her doubt your honesty or find out things from other sources. Mistrust is one of the key deal breakers in relationships. Once trust is lost or broken, it can take a very long time to re-establish it in the relationship.The happiest couples are the ones where honesty is as natural as breathing.
3. Spend Time Together: It is good to dedicate a day out the week for a night out. Dinner, movies, and carnivals are all great ideas for entertainment. Do not limit it to just night’s out. Try to do activities that motivates you and your significant other to be the best version of themselves. Exercise, yoga, and sports are great and will keep your partner fit and attractive to the eye. Doing things together will help form a bond that will get you through life’s rough spots.
4. Time apart: Being with someone everyday can get tiresome. You will not have room to miss your partner and you will eventually take your significant other for granted. It is healthy to have some separate interests and activities and to come back to the relationship refreshed and ready to share your experiences. Missing your partner helps remind you how important he or she is to you.
5. Stay Fit: It is easier to stay in love when you are physically attracted to your partner. It may sound hollow, but humans are very visual creatures. It is easier said than done, but staying fit is important for a relationship and everyday life. With that said not everybody is attracted to the same thing. It is best to try to maintain the shape that has made your partner fall in love to begin with.
6. Do not try to force a change: You can not change someone as change can only come from the person within. If both you and your partner stop trying to change each other, you will eliminate the source to many of your arguments.
At the same time, each of you should focus on giving one another more of what you know the other person wants, even if it doesn’t come naturally. For instance, instead of complaining how your partner never cleans the dishes, try just doing it yourself once in awhile without complaint. Your partner will likely notice your effort and make more of an effort themselves around the house. Its good to lead by example and hopefully he or she will follow suit.
7. Of course sex: Sexual satisfaction is a great stress reliever, as well as a way to feel more connected with your partner—and when you feel satisfied and happy in your relationship, those feelings will contribute to overall better health.
8. Follow through on promises: If you have seen Scarface you would know the two things a man have is his words and his b*lls. That does not mean this do not go for ladies as well. Follow through on your promises. When you say you’re going to do something, do it. Don’t say that you’ll cook dinner, or get a birthday present, and then blow it off or simply forget about it. What this does is systematically destroy trust. And relationships need trust in order to thrive. If you’re bad at remembering things, write it down on a personal planner or calendar, and set up reminders on your phone.
9. Show affection: There’s a difference between knowing that you’re loved and feeling that you’re loved. Sometimes, we bank on the fact that our partners should know that we love them even when we don’t show it. Don’t rely on this too much. The best relationships use affection to show love.
Do something for your partner that you know they will truly appreciate. Whether it means getting up early to make them breakfast, taking the kids to school, or randomly buying flowers or unexpected gifts.
Don’t be afraid to show physical affection every once in a while. Loving relationships feed off of the little kisses, hugs, and back-rubs that are mainstays of affection.
10. Respect each other: Treating your sweetheart with respect is likely to get you the same in return. Regularly reminding them how much they mean to you will enrich your relationship in indescribable ways. When you say, “I love you,” pause for a moment to really mean it. And don’t be afraid to express your feelings of appreciation with your partner — he or she will be thankful that you did.
These facts are an integral part of a healthy relationship. Your efforts may initially seem like planted seeds that never come up. If you maintain your efforts, however, you will likely reap what you sow.
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Fantastic post, I recently just came out of a relationship and after reading some of these points, they related very closely to some of our situations and more importantly to some things we were not doing right. Thanks for the post and your advice has helped me for future reference, even if I wont be getting back into a relationship any time soon.
Sam
Unfortunately I am in a relationship in which communication is lacking and my partner I feel lacks the respect warranted for me to ever love her or take the relationship serious. I desperately want out of my relationship and I thought it happened until unfortunately she came back the other night.
Great Article!!!! Having been married for 21 years now and 26 years being together I can relate to everything you have listed in your article. My wife and I have tried to live by the same guideline that you have laid out here and so far so good. The important thing to remember is that no matter what couples are going to go through some rough times at some point, but they can be worked through if both parties are willing to do so.
Thanks again for the great post.
I can not imagine being with someone that long and I wish I found somebody I could really see such a future with. Unfortunately some of us may go a lifetime without finding our soul mate.
The 10 facts are real nugget to a healthy relationship. Awesome post.
I agree with you on most, if not all of them. Communication is key, from experience, this is one way for a relationship to go downhill fast. You hit the nail right on the head…compromise is the key. So often, we all want to have our way…I know because I am like that…I am slowly learning to compromise and pick my battles.
I try not to battle anymore or be taken to a place I do not want to go. Communication and Respect is definitely the two main falling out aspects to me.
Yes, I believe as we mature, we learn what is acceptable in a relationship…well most of us do.